The Last Leg

Prior to the 11,000 mile and 80 hour trip back home I stopped in a few more cities of India. I arrived late one evening in Jaipur to find Chad watching television and lounging on a fluffy couch surrounded by cylindrical, soft pillows. The remains of potato chips, cookies, and soda scattered the room as the air conditioning roared on full blast. He had found a little slice of paradise in the furnace otherwise known as India. I had no hesitations in joining his escape from our surroundings. For a few extra rupees we enjoyed a night of luxury. The hotel even had a swimming pool, which we made sure was not left unused.

Unfortunately we had to leave our little Shangri-la the next day to see some of the sights of the city. The most fantastic sight was the towering fort which watched over the city from a high mountain to the north. The fort was built by the Mughals hundreds of years ago and used to fight off invaders, including the British. I gained a new respect for the Britons that day. By the time we hiked to the base of the fort we were so weakened and worn by the rough turrain and the sun's stifling rays that we nearly collapsed then and there. Those imperialists of the 17th century must have been pretty robust if they made that same hike and then drove the local inhabitants out. After a lengthy rest we explored the fort and only to be attacked by hordes of Indians wanting to shake hands and take pictures with westerners.


The rest of the city featured camels pulling carts, elephants wandering the streets and pigs by the bucketload sloshing in the sludge heaped on the street corners and gutters. Jaipur also has a McDondalds and I decided to give it a second chance although the smell of curry still lingered at the doorway. I enjoyed the experience a little more this time thanks to a strawberry milkshake and McChicken sandwich.

The final city to see in India was the nation's capital--New Delhi. I must have got on the wrong train, because it stopped in Delhi, instead of New Delhi. It took a little bit of orienteering, but with my exceeding intellect and a keen recollection of my scouting skills I was able to find the metro and make the lengthy two-stop, five minute journey to New Delhi.

I found a place to stay and just as I layed down to relax the lights went out and the fan shut off. In less time than it would take Einstein to solve a rubik's cube my arms had become sticky and my head was covered in sweat. I took to the streets, hoping that my movement would create some sort of breeze and reduce the heat. My hopes were dashed, but I spent the evening shopping and wandering the streets of New Delhi anyway.

The next day I attended the New Delhi branch, which was a bit bigger than I expected. I was quite glad to be a returned missionary, because talking with one of the elders in the branch, I found that 40 additional visas will be issued for Americans to serve as LDS missionaries in India. I don't envy whomever they may be, but I am sure they won't know any better and consider it the best two years of their lives.

All things considered, I would say this trip has been a successful adventure. We set out to do something which we hardly knew anything about and were glad to make it out with only some noxious diarhea to go with terrific pictures and a thousand stories.

Actually, I am the only one who made it out. Chad remains wandering, perhaps disappearing amongst the innumerable multitudes of India.

Seventh Wonder of the World

I arrived in Agra on a steamy, smoggy night. After finding a place to stay just a few blocks from the Taj Mahal, I scaled the narrow stairwell and climbed to the roof of the hotel to catch a glimpse of one of the seven wonders of the world. The moon was nearly full and it's light struggled to penetrate the smog and touch the marble of the monument. As inspiring as the moment was, it was interrupted by an obnoxious blaring loudspeaker which polluted the air with an Indian women squeeling a traditional song. I guess it must have been some local holiday and they had installed loudspeakers all over the city, which blasted annoying noises until nearly midnight. I still have yet to aquire the taste for traditional Indian music.


The next day I decided to get a closer look at the Taj. Believe it or not, I was able to sit on the same bench that George W. Bush, Bill Clinton an many other US presidents sat when they came to see the Taj Mahal. The Indians all refer to President Bush as "the fighter", but President Clinton's nickname isn't much better: "the lover".

After spending a few hours walking around and admiring the architecture, I decided to see what else I could see in Agra. I went the "baby taj", which slightly resembles the Taj Mahal, except the guy building it didn't have a woman to impress, so he cut some corners, made it a lot smaller and didn't use any pricey marble. I actually enjoyed the "baby Taj" more, because no crowds come to see it and I was able to peacefully watch the water buffaloes swimming in the mosltly dried up river basin.

The rest of my time in Agra was spent with my drunk auto rickshaw driver taking me to his friends' stores where I was nearly forced to by unwanted carpets, marble tabletops, and gemstones. Upon saying I was not interested for the 100th time the salespeople realized that I might not be interested. They usually got upset for a moment before allowing me to leave their store. The only good thing was that I usually got a free glass of water and it was a lot cooler inside than out.

I also experienced my first taste of McDonald's in India with the Maharaja Chicken Mac. Although the name sounds rather appetizing, the burger is a deadly combination of curry, veggie-chicken paddies and a repugnant, unknown orange substance. Word of the wise--when eating at McDonalds in India stick with the Filet-o-fish or McChicken-- anything else is certain trouble.

Overcoming the suffocating heat and annoying salesmen was a bit of a struggle, but seeing the Taj Mahal was everything I hoped and dreamed it would be, so I must give Agra a 9 of 10.

Penetrating the Subcontinent

Coming back to India we had our first taste of the well-renowned Indian Railway System. The floors of the station in Kolkata, and any other station in India, are covered with people and luggage. How is that different from anywhere else in the world? you ask. Well, none of the people or luggage is moving, the people just lay all over the floors and the luggage sits being used as pillows or obstacles for other people. We made our way through the labrynth of bodies and baggage to find a restaurant where we waited for our train.

Punctuality is not a priority with the Indian Railway System. For that matter, neither are signs or friendly conductors or anything that might indicate any kind of order. When our train arrived it was absolute chaos. People squeezed, pushed, and squirmed their way onto the train. The reality began to set in that we had no clue what to do. We weren't even sure if it was the right train. The wagons were poorly labeled and we squished our way up and down the platform trying to figure something out. All of the Indians at that moment conveniently forgot how to understand or speak English, so asking for help proved useless. Just as we were about to give up all hope and collapse to die in an obscure railway station far from home, a young man came and guided us to our wagon, read the passenger log posted in Hindi on the side of the wagon and told us that our names were there. I think the young man must have been one of the three nephites. We climbed on and within a few minutes the trauma of the ordeal had subsided.

Our travels in India so far have taken us to the ancient city of Varanasi and the remote village of Khajuraho. Varanasi is one of the oldest cities in the world, dating back over 5000 years, according to our local sources. The city is where Lord Shiva resides, the greatest God in the Buddhist religion. The legend is that if one dies in Varanasi he/she will automatically reach nirvana and go to heaven. Thanks to this legend, the city is filled with old people waiting to die. We decided we weren't quite ready to die, however, we did decide we needed a relaxing trip down the Ganges, so we hopped on a boat and enjoyed the sunset before moving on.


Khajuraho is also an ancient village situated around ancient temples built over a thousand years ago. We took a long, hot, crowded bus ride through the Indian desert to reach the village. The locals said that the thermometer hits 110 or 115. The bus ride from Khajuraho was even worse than getting there. I was excited to get the window seat, but the leg room was insufficient and the heat made me feel like I was opening a hot oven the whole way. To make matters worse, the man next to me took the liberty of using my shoulder as a pillow. The situation was a little awkward, but if I closed my eyes and imaged a cute girl resting on my shoulder it made things easier.

The heat has been pretty rough, but we have seen some pretty impressive things and I would give this part at least a 7 of 10.

A Delightful Surprise

Both Chad and I were blown away as we stepped onto the tarmac at the Dhaka International Airport. The wind was not the cause, but rather the conditions of the country. The hedges were well trimmed, the roads were paved and painted, the people were friendly, the cars were modern. We had heard that Bangladesh was one of the poorest countries in the world and were expecting something worse than scout camp with filled up latrines and a moss covered lake. Now don't get me wrong, Bangladesh is no Singapore, the streets still had dirt and the people are still poor, but our expectations were easily eclipsed.

Having no idea what to do or where to go, we were half-forced and half-swindled into a taxi ride with a pair of singing, money-hungry, disoriented Bengalis. We went around the city in circles for a couple hours. It took us about one loop around to realize what was happening, but since it was already dark and we did not know our way around, we were a helpless. We could picture the cogs in the hooligan-driver's head computing how much money he would get out of us. Before long we learned the only words he understood in English were "dollars" and "taxi". Finally we got off the joy ride and found a place to stay. The driver wanted 1500 takas for wasting all of our time and taking us to an overpriced, giant-cockroach infested hotel!! We ended up giving him half of that, but he still left with a smirk on his face, knowing he was making off like a bandit.

The stay in Dhaka was uneventful, especially since there isn't much to do. We decided to leave the country on a bus in order to catch a glimpse of the countryside. Climbing onto that bus in Dhaka was like climbing into a brand new Escalade with everything. The coach had plush seats, special beverage holders and best of all--air conditioning. The back of the bus was entirely empty, so we found space to stretch out and get some well-deserved rest for some hard-working travellers. Unfortunately the roads in Bangledesh are not so even and just as we were falling asleep we would hit another pot hole or bump, which would abruptly bring back consciousness.

The monsoon season is just beginning in Bangledesh, so much of the country is already underwater. This, of course, created a problem for our unamphibious bus, but thanks to the ferry system, we were able to cross large, seasonal lakes and rivers. On one crossing we had to drive through about a foot of water to reach the ramp of the ferry, but some how the bus slipped into deeper water. The water went up the tail pipe and almost into the luggage compartment. The back end of the bus was sinking fast, but thanks to our experienced driver and front wheel drive, we surged out of the water and onto the boat. The rest of the ride to the border went by without a glitch.

Although our trip to Bangladesh was short, it was more than we ever expected and deservedly gets an 7 of 10.

Don't Meddle with the Maoists

The search for the yeti began the instant we arrived in Kathmandu, Nepal. The overcast weather and distance to the mountain ranges dampened our hopes of finding the beast. We quickly were informed that we had a few days hike from the biggest mountains, which according to our calculations would be precisely where the yeti would most likely be found. Unfortunately, our schedule would not allow for such an expedition. We did, however, scour the entire Kathmandu Valley. We, like the scientists, explorers, zoologists, and travellers upon whose shoulder's we stood, left Nepal without any concrete evidence of the existance of the yeti. We did however observe burning bodies, diving monkies, menacing maoists, and the highest mountains in the world.

Our second day in Nepal was spent on an extensive tour of one of the most elevated valleys in the world, which is also home to half of Nepal's population. We went to a number of ancient temples which were mostly filled with people trying to sell us Nepalese knick-knacks. Of course, the temples were also filled with carvings of elephants and buddhas. The most impressive temple was one where a cremation ceremony was being performed next to a small river. The river was filled with swimming monkies. Not only, were monkies in the water, but many climbed the structures that lined the river and, with flailing arms, belly-flopped into the water.

The exit from Nepal turned out quite adventerous. Our taxi driver said that the roads through the downtown were all closed off because of a huge maoist rally. They were expecting about a half million people to come to the rally, which meant we would have to go around the city to get to the airport. Driving down one of the bumpy, dirt roads we ran into a traffic jam. Within a few seconds a UN SUV passed. Violence was breaking out at the rally! We had to get to the airport before the maoists overthrew the city and declared marshall law! Our driver found an alternate route. We passed masses of marching maoists, mostly young men, with red headbands and red, waving flags which proudly displayed the hammer and sickle. We arrived at the airport and made our escape only to find out later that the violence was just a little skirmish and only one person got hurt.

Feeling relieved after taking off, we relaxed in the airplane as it burst through the cloud layer and the snowy peaks of the tallest mountains in the world stretched out in front of us. Mt. Everest, it turns out, isn't so easy to identify, because it is only slightly taller than all the other mountains. However, with the help of a knowledgable Nepali sitting behind us, we pinpointed the highest place on planet earth.

The trip to Nepal was certainly a relief from all the heat of south Asia and although the yeti still remains a mystery I give this leg an 8 of 10.

On Deathbeds in Kolkata

We took off from Bangkok at 5 in the morning heading due west. The final destination was the mystique land of India!! Stepping out of the airport it felt like we had been thrown back about 60 years. The Indians must have fallen in love with the 1948 Studebaker Coupe, because all of their cars follow that model. Also, in line with a few generations ago, Indian motorists have an obsession with their horns. It seems that they can not live more than five seconds without honking. The noise really can get annoying, because it seems as if they will honk at anything on the road that moves. I suppose I will eventually get used to all the racket.

Kolkata (Calcutta--former name) it turns out is one of the most impoverished cities in all of India. The streets are lined with homeless people. Our hostel is only a few steps away from the neighborhood bathing pump. Every morning groups of people fill their buckets with dirty pump water and splash it all over themselves, the sidewalk, and the roads.

We spent our second day in Kolkata walking around the city seeing the sights and enjoying the hot, unbearable weather. I had my first go at the game of cricket. I was interupting a match, so they only gave me one bowl. I put together a beautiful baseball swing, but I quickly found that baseball skills are not quickly transferable to cricket. We did sit and watch a little bit. Our minds were boggled as we struggled to comprehend what was happening and in the end we found that we didn't quite have the intellectual capacity to understand, but maybe someday. Line upon line when it comes to Indian culture.

We did see the Victoria Memorial. It is a bit of a mix between the Taj Mahal and St. Paul's Cathedral in Rome (at least according to the Lonely Planet travel guide). I couldn't really figure out what the purpose in building it was, because it looks like it woul be better used as a house for the rich, but it turns out that it is a museum to remember all of the great things the British did when they were here. Either way they definately need to invest in some air conditioning units.

We went to some other museums and places of interest. For much of the day we were followed by beggars asking for money. The beggars here are pretty demanding. They don't seem to settle for anything less than 100 rupees, if you give them anything less, they consider it an invitation to tag along even longer and a guarantee that they will be getting more.

After a couple days here, Chad and I felt that we were doing pretty well physically speaking. We had heard of many travellers getting sick and having trouble with the Indian food, but thanks to our vast experience travelling and our incredible ability to adjust to new surroundings, we were getting along just fine. Then one night, settling down for some rest, it hit. Our bowels became as loose as Jared Fogle's (Subway spokesman) pants. Vomit shot up our throats. We spent the entire night in the insect-infested bathroom with spurts of sleep sandwiched between long fights with our stomachs. In the end, we lost the battle and the entire next day we layed in bed moaning, tossing, and turning. We watched TV and debated over who felt worse. The illness has not quite been overcome, but things are definately looking better.

Kolkata, India, thanks only to the novelty and cool cars, gets a 6 of 10.

Phi Phi or Phoo Phoo

The 7:30 alarm found me struggling to roll out of bed. Torrents of rain smashed against the roof of our bungaloo and I was deeply dreading the trek back over the jungle mountain. Chad and I decided to postpone our departure as long as possible. The rain died down to a drizzle and eventually stopped. We packed our bags and headed for the beach. The sea was calm and we were fortunate enough to find a native who was willing to carry us on a boat around the island rather than having to climb over the mountain.

Climbing off the boat on the otherside of the island the shoulder strap of my backpack snapped. I nearly lost everything to the ocean, but thanks to my unparalleled strength I was able to miraculously save my luggage.

We spent the morning on boats travelling toward Kho Phi Phi, or Phi Phi Island (In Thai an "h" following a "p" is silent). I would have to admit that this island was even more stunning than the first one. The mountains were even greener, the beaches were whiter, the skies were bluer, and the water was clearer. Coming of the boat one could see the schools of fish playing in the deep. The island folk were quite friendly and Chad knew of a place to stay with a spectacular view.

That evening we enjoyed some Thai-style kick boxing. Most of the matches were between westerners. The fighters were given extra padding, to prevent serious injury, but there were still some pretty good punches thrown. A drunk Finnish fellow wanted to fight against me, but I politely declined. He ended up getting beaten pretty badly.

The trip back to Bangkok was a nightmare. Of course, the day you leave an area is always the most beautiful day. We were like children kicking and screaming while being dragged away from a toy store by their parents. Just as I walked out of the door of our lodgings another strap on my backpack broke. You might say it was the strap that broke the camel's backpack. (ok, that wasn't so good, I am still working on my puns). My clothes had become soaked by the humidity and nearly doubled the weight I had to carry. I heaved the mass onto my shoulder and worked my way down to the docks. I fell ill on the sea voyage back to the mainland. The sickness was mostly just a fever, swollen tonsils, dizziness, and weak muscles. The agony of the illness was only exacerbated once we climbed onto the bus to Bangkok.

Imagine, if you can, a group of smelly, sweaty, tired travellers packed onto a bus with little leg room and seats specially designed to create kinks in your back. Then to make matters worse the air conditioning fails. The ride was horrendous. Just as I was nearly asleep the bus would make another stop and everyone had to get out and wait for something to be fixed. The most ridiculous stop of all was at 2AM, when they told us to get out at a little restaurant where we were supposed to get something to eat. People aren't supposed to eat at 2 in the morning, but maybe they figured it was lunchtime in America, so they were trying to be considerate.

A little later in the morning my knees began to itch, then my arms and feet. I counted 10 mosquito bites. Upon arriving in Bangkok, I was tired, but decided to take a shower at the hotel we are staying at. The itching had grown worse and this time I counted no less than one hundred mosquito bites. After eating lunch, I did another count. By now my arms and legs were covered in little red itchy dots. The count exceeded two hundred! I couldn't believe it. I had been eaten alive!! We went to a local pharmacy where they prescribed some pills and cream, I will see how it goes. Each key I push on this keyboard is accompanied by an itchy sensation somewhere, which upon being appeased only make matters worse.
I suppose things will undoubtedly get better. Due to the incommodious nature of this leg of the trip, I feel it warrants a 4 of 10.

Scorpions and Spiders

So, I finally saw a familiar face walking down the streets of Bangkok. It was on a Friday afternoon and I was supposed to meet up with my friend, Chad, at the nearby McDonalds. He wasn't there when I arrived, so I was headed back to my hostel lonely and depressed. Then, I recognized a guy who was in my International Business class this past semester. It turns out that he was travelling with Chad and a number of other friends and within a couple hours we had all met and were running around Bangkok having fun, but mostly shopping. I wasn't so thrilled with all the shopping, but I was glad to have some other Americans that I could talk with. The company was fantastic.

Unfortunately the company was short-lived. Everyone in the group besides Chad, headed back to America on Sunday morning. Chad and I found a church in Bangkok and enjoyed a branch conference before making preparations for the rest of our travels.

We left that evening on a 14 hour sleeper bus to southern Thailand. We got dumped off at 5AM in some town on the eastern shore before catching another 2 and a half our bus to the town of Krabi Paddie. Actually, it is just Krabi. From there we trekked across a beach and through the surf to climb onto a longboat headed to a remote island about a half hour from the coast of Thailand. The view approaching the island was breath-taking, huge foliage-covered mountains and cliffs rose straight from the turqiouse blue ocean. The boat stopped about 100 yards from the shore and we had to carry our luggage through the water to the island. We then hiked across another beach and began the ascent of the jungle mountain.

On the other side of the mountain was our bungaloo, but reaching was easier said than done. After lots of sweat, a few slips, and plenty of sore muscles we finally reached our destination.

The bunagloo is great! The walls are covered with geckos, who are quite friendly and eat many of the mosquitoes and beetles. However you must go to bed at night praying that the scoprions don't sting your toes and when you are in the shower you must watch out for the hairy 3-inch- long black spiders. We don't know if they are poisonous and we don't plan on finding out.




The beaches here are great, and the scenery is spectacular. The only downside is that it rains a lot and the sand, when it dries in your sandles, cuts your feet and they bleed. Overall, however, I would give the island a 7 of 10.

Three nights in Bangkok

I arrived in Bangkok at about 1:30AM. After wandering around the airport for a few minutes trying to decide what to do, I headed for one of the information desks. It was there I met a tall, well-built American inquiring about a place to stay. It was his first time in Bangkok and my second, so I was just slightly more experienced in getting around, but not enough to make a difference. On a lengthy taxi ride from the airport to downtown Bangkok I found he was a marine headed to some training in northern Thailand. He was quite a cordial fellow and I would say my first acquaintance in Bangkok was a success.

I got dropped off by the taxi driver in what seemed to be unfamiliar territory. I stood on the street corner for a minute or so, picking my brain (it was well after 3am) trying to remember something from the last time I was in Bangkok. I finally recognized a McDonalds and a few other places on the street and trekked to one of the hostels down the road. I entered my bedroom, which consisted of a bed, fan, floor, ceiling, four walls, and a window, just before 4AM. The one perk I did get is that my window comes with a sliding screen pane, which can be nice, if the humidity isn't too high at night. I wasn't so concerned about the amenities and I was just ready to catch some zzzzs.

One might be wondering what I was doing walking around Bangkok at 3am by myself. Due to a mishap in my travel plans and an effort to conserve money I arrived in Bangkok one day after the friends I was supposed to meet left for the beaches in the south part of Thailand. I had no idea exactly where to find them, so I decided I would spend a few days in Bangkok alone.

After sleeping away most of the first day, I spent the next few days travelling in a tuk-tuk and seeing some of the sights of Bangkok. When it comes to attractions in Bangkok they consist of two things, Buddhas in a variety of poses (including sitting, standing, and reclining.) and Buddhist temples. There are over 40,000 in temples in Thailand according to one elderly Thai fellow I met in one of the temples. He began explaining to me the purposes of the different poses and which one to pray to for certain days of the week and certain problems. I only understood about every fifth word, so I don't fully understand how it all works, but he was very excited to tell me about it.



The first three days and nights here in Bangkok have been pretty long. On the second day it began raining and it never seemed to stop. I would come back to my room soaking wet each night. I wouldn't really ever get fully dried, because by the time I did it was so muggy that the wetness from the rain had become sweatness. That is, perspiration.

I have met a variety of people and found that the Thai people are really friendly at first, but if you don't give them what they want, they can become quite perturbed. For example, I payed a tuk-tuk driver 20 baht for a ride, that I thought was worth 20 baht. He felt it was worth five or ten times that. I just walked away after paying and he was undoubtedly very upset. I've found that money seems to keep the people happy or just giving of some of your time, if you don't have much money. Overall I would rate my first three days in Bankok a 3 of 10. Too much rain and too many rip offs.

The Aeroplane over the Sea

If you ever find yourself looking for a flight to Asia I would suggest trying China Airlines. I am formerly a big Lufthansa guy, but I converted in the last 24 hours to China Airlines. Not because of the smelly Taiwanese man next to me or the distance between seats that is perfect if you are 5'6" or shorter, but because of the entertainment. Each seat has an individual 5" flat screen TV. You might say it is "Pimp my Ride" airplane style. Also each seat has a neat little remote that not only controls the light and stewardess button, but gives you access to about 15 on-demand, new release movies, dozens of on-demand CDs, 15 radio stations, and about a dozen different games. Also there is Berlitz language learner available. After watching "King Kong", "Glory Road", and "Chronicles of Narnia" I was brushing up on my Chinese, Russian and learning some Thai. I can now say hello, thank you, and just about count to ten in broken Thai which no one will understand.

After arriving exhausted from the 13 hour flight, I decided to rest a little in the Taipei airport. I had about an hour before boarding on the flight to Bangkok, so I arranged the benches in the waiting lobby for optimal relaxation. I was determined to rest, but not sleep, so I wouldn't miss my flight. My plans were foiled and I woke up to find the lobby entirely empty. One lonely stewardess stood at the gate just wrapping things up before take off. I immediately panicked and jumped to my feet only to find both legs were asleep. I caught myself on the chair and hobbled/dragged myself to the counter to give the stewardess my boarding pass. It seems like all of my worring was in vain, because I had a full ten minutes before take off to get on the plane and find my seat.

The leg of the trip from Taipei to Thailand is mostly a blur, because I spent it sleeping, only waking to shove a meal in my mouth and move to allow the lady next to me to use the lavatory. I arrived in Bangkok at about 1:30 AM Tuesday night. On a scale from 1-10 I would give the flight a 8.5.. Overall a good experience.